It wasn’t easy, but I made it. Today is Monday and my fiancé is finally coming home from his 3 night/4 day bachelor party extravaganza.
He left home early Friday morning, and by Friday night I already had my claws out and was fully prepared to start tossing all of his shit off of our 3rd story apartment balcony. Because he didn’t call or text me. I might be a little needy, maybe slightly jealous… but here’s my deal: if you already know I’m ill at ease with your weekend plans, don’t exacerbate the situation by going off the grid. Not texting or calling (or returning my messages) is enough to send this usually sane little woman into a whirlwind of Miller Lite induced fury like you have never seen.
Him & 3 of his buddies spent the weekend golfing by day, and drinking by night. That first night I knew they were going to a club where people get crazy drunk and do crazy shit. I would know, I got kicked out of this same club as a younger person for being too drunk to stand (like.. 5 years ago? HA!). So I know what goes down there. I also know that women tend to be slimy, untrustworthy pieces of makeup covered shit. Bitches that like to fuck with other people’s men or are attracted to a bachelor party group because there is the possibility of free drinks waiting for you. I’m getting myself all worked up… moving on.
My point is that I was envisioning the worst of the worst case scenarios coupled with no contact from my man. Not a good situation. I didn’t go nuts though, I sent a text to him & a text to his best man and when neither replied to me, I went my ass to bed and swore to make them all pay for their stupidness.
Cue the 7am wake up call. Oh yes I did.
His best man heard my fiance’s phone so he text me to let me know that he hadn’t woken up yet. Which is totally not my fucking problem. I told him I wanted J on the phone ASAP and ta-da! My phone rang.
Apologies all around, the phone was dead, this & that reason, blah blah blah.
Now don’t get me wrong, I wanted J to go out and have a good time. I’m not a completely heartless asshole. I did NOT want to be left in the dark to wonder what the hell was going on though. So I made my case, he apologized some more, then proceeded to tell me about his night.
Apparently his group met a bachelorette party group and “they were making it really obvious that they didn’t want any guys hanging around them” then went on to tell me that they bought each other shots, hung out together, and it was real low-key and a good time. Maybe you didn’t catch that: BACHELOR PARTY + BACHELORETTE PARTY + SHOTS. Not sure what about that spells low-key or how hanging out with a bachelor party group is staying away from guys. Sounds like a bunch of fucking skanks to me.
I’m feeling a little hateful this morning, but I played it cool to my guy. The rest of his weekend was low-key and now it’s being cut short because of the weather today. Good riddance. Who spends 4 days “doing” a bachelor party anyway???