I know.. I bet you didn’t see that coming, right? I mean such a wholesome and lovely individual as myself would never be so dirty to do something like cheat. I’m so sorry to disappoint, but I am now officially a CHEATER!
Last night, somewhere in the wee hours between 11pm and 2am, I snuck out. I rolled out of bed with as little squeaking from the metal frame as possible, slid into my slippers, and tip toed down the hall. There I found it, calling to me so seductively.. whispering a dare that I couldn’t resist taking…..
That stupid fucking kitchen is such a home wrecker.
So I dove right in because I have ZERO willpower. And I’m sick and fucking tired of being hungry all the time.. my fiancé has me eating 5 small meals and exercising twice a day. It’s too much man! My body was like, fuck this shit I’m taking over!! I had a snack sampler consisting of
two large handfuls a few Triscuits, half a bag of microwave butter popcorn, a couple Milano cookies and a big ol’ cup of sugary sweet iced tea. Fatty girl, right? At freakin’ midnight no less, when I’m not supposed to be eating anything at all!!!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Then this morning I was SO sore and SO tired and felt SO gross from eating that crap last night, I didn’t even exercise. J woke me up, as he has promised to do, and I literally cussed him out and went back to sleep.
Are you following? Not only did I CHEAT on my diet in the middle of the night like a whore, but I also CHEATED on my exercise plan this morning! I’m going to hell in a hand basket, or some shit like that. It’s fucking 80some degrees today so guess what, I have no intentions of RUNNING either! It would literally happen over my dead body, because I ran in the heat yesterday evening and I was thisclose to being a dead body. So to compromise with my failing self, I will do 30 minutes of Wii Zumba when I get home.