Something you should never say to another parent:

“You’re doing it wrong.”

It doesn’t matter how well you phrase it, how sugar-coated the statement, how good your intentions are… if you ever tell a parent that they are not doing something the correct way (or the best way/your way), you can bet that said parent will have a contract out on your life within hours. You might be wondering how I know? You shouldn’t be, you know me and my big fucking mouth told a parent that they suck at something!!

Alright so here’s the back story:

A couple of weeks ago my daughter was invited to a “Spring Break Slumber Party” at a home where there are spoiled rotten twin 8-year-old girls. They live in what we call a “McMansion” here in NoVA. I’ve been inside this home before… I was conflicted between being awestruck at their beautiful and perfectly arranged decor and feeling hateful and jealous at their stuff. I can’t help it, I act like that.

Anyways, the point is that these girls BOTH have iPads, BOTH have 3D DS’s, BOTH have laptops…. are you getting the picture? They are spoiled-fucking-rotten. And unchecked. At Girl Scout meetings, I have witnessed these fools completely ignore what’s happening at the meeting and play on their iPads while their parents do the same and don’t even realize that the kids are not participating. UNREAL.

I’m straying too far from the point of this post, forgive me. The freakin point is that I knew my daughter was going to end up doing/seeing something I wouldn’t agree with or consider appropriate while she was at this slumber party. As usual, I was right. She came home and was telling me about all these crazy Harlem Shake videos that the girls were watching on YouTube, with the mom in the room with them. I’ve heard a lot of hype about this Harlem Shake bullshit so I quickly got on YouTube to check it out for myself and the first video that popped up was a bunch of stupid college boys dancing around a dorm room in their underwear.

Lovely.

Then I started grilling her on specifics: How many videos did you view? (Many). Were any inappropriate? (Some). Did the Mom ask to see what you girls were looking at? (No). Did you look at any other videos? (Well there was this one where a guy had really gross big bumps all over his skin, don’t worry though he wasn’t naked or anything)………….

I was pissed. Mostly because I meant to say something to this mom about monitoring their internet usage BEFORE the slumber party and I didn’t. I couldn’t figure out how to casually bring it up in conversation without offending her. At this point though, I didn’t care if I offended her. I was PISSED OFF that my child was able to view such obnoxious and inappropriate YouTube content with an adult in the very same room. So I took my angry ass to the keyboard and typed her up the following email:

Good evening D,
I just wanted to send you a quick note regarding something little J just told me about. She said that while she was at the sleepover, the girls were watching videos on YouTube. Harlem Shake, some guy with bumps all over his skin, among others. She said that you were in the room, but never asked to see what they were looking at. I searched for Harlem Shake videos myself just now, because I had not seen one before, and the first one that popped up was a bunch of guys in their underwear dancing around a dorm room.
Granted, that might not be the specific video they saw but I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that there is a vast collection of wildly inappropriate videos on YouTube that second grade girls do not need to be watching. For this reason, any YouTube viewing little J does at home- I check the videos to make sure they are not obscene. I can’t tell you how to control your children’s internet usage, but I just wanted to let you know that this news was unsettling to me. Other parents probably feel the same, so I thought I would let you know while it is on my mind. I always restrict and closely monitor any internet activities while little J has friends here to play because I don’t want to overstep boundaries that kids have set with their parents.
We sincerely appreciate the sleepover invitation, and it sounds like they all had a great time!  I hope that this email doesn’t upset you, I really just wanted to make you aware.
Thanks,
Amanda
Confession: I’m actually a pussy when it comes to this kind of confrontation. I still have to see her at Girl Scout meetings and our kids are friends, I didn’t want to screw that up for my daughter. I still got the main point across: I think you suck at being a mom.
As you might expect, the mom was offended. Lucky for me she was also on her email Ps & Qs when she sent me the following response:
Thank you Amanda.  We do have controls on what the girls can access.  The “Harlem shake” was new to me.  I did watch the girls and it seemed harmless.  J mentioned that he introduced little J to Harlem Shake, so she may have introduced it to the other girls.  At all events, we cannot be too careful. So thank you again.

Straight. Up. Embarrassing.

You better believe J got his ass chewed that evening. It took a good long while to pick my pride jaw up off the floor after reading that. Now I just feel like an asshole. Everytime I’ve seen her since this exchange it’s been more than a little awkward.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is why sometimes it’s better to keep your big fucking mouth SHUT!

Always yours,

Amanda

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7 thoughts on “Something you should never say to another parent:

  1. I think you should be proud of yourself for squeezing all your raging thoughts into such a politely expressed email! My kids are still young, but the very idea of *eventually* letting them loose into a world with other little monsters who will expose them to all kinds of corrupting influence makes my blood pressure spike. In other words, I don’t blame you! Keep doing your best to be a good mom!

    • I will keep fighting the good fight :) Second grade has, for the most part, been a piece of cake as far as parenting goes. The ONLY thing with struggle with constantly is internet/technology usage… hence why I’m always on some rampage about it.

      And thank you for your kind words about my email – I re-wrote it a few times before sending to make sure it wasn’t dripping with rage. Haha!

  2. I will keep this in mind for the Slumber Years. Ugh. I can’t say I’m looking forward to them. Is it inappropriate to send them with a wire? Or a hidden camera? Just wondering :)

    • I don’t think that’s inappropriate at all.. maybe I should look into one! It is so tough getting used to all these outside influences on my daughter. I can only hope that I’ve done a good job with her to this point so that she has the common sense to AT LEAST avoid things that are dangerous, if not the inappropriate stuff too!!

  3. It’s never wrong to defend your child. Who care’s what Mcmansion says. You have a right to be bitter about things if you want to. Just like I have the right to teach my kids to be bitter.

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