Hey there Colorado…

Sunday, May 19th. I’m not sure if I should say it’s 11:45pm or 9:45pm. This difference in time, although minute in the big picture, has really thrown me for a loop. Especially because I had a layover in Dallas, TX between DC & CO – so I’ve hung out in 3 time zones today. It’s strange to turn my phone on after a flight lands and watch the time literally change an hour back. I’ve convinced my daughter that I’m an official time traveler – which has bought me major cool points :)

In other news, I just had an hour-long conversation with my Mom about my brother. I don’t really have the energy to get into details, but basically the place where he’s been doesn’t consider him in need of in-patient treatment, and he will most likely be sent home for my mom to deal with instead. The more time that passes, the more he downplays the severity, and the more stressed my mom is. Turns out he stole more from my grandmother than we knew and she only disclosed that info to my Mom today because she didn’t want to upset her more.

Heartbreaking.

Not the tear-jerker kind of heart breaking, like I posted last week. At this point we are emotionally exhausted. Exasperated. Feeling helpless and powerless because after all… my 25-year-old brother is an adult [on paper]. Ultimately this is all up to him, which means nothing for change and improvement to his situation. I can’t decide if I want to be pissed off or distraught.. either way I’m not happy. And more strikingly – I have no solutions to offer. That’s usually my thing… analyze a situation, offer help and advice. Not this time, and not even close. I don’t know what to do, to tell my Mom to do…. I need to do some more research on this beast that addiction is. And I need to find a way to make myself part of the solution instead of just a bystander which is how I feel right now.

Moving on…

I’m in CO for work but not really having to do work, which is nice. I get to do a 2-day dental school crash course, which should be pretty interesting and dare I say it – Fun? :) I’m looking forward to it, but not feeling good about being away right now. Between the shit with my brother and the fast-approaching wedding… it just feels wrong to be 2 time zones and many hours of traveling away from home. I was in Chicago for a few days in February and really enjoyed that. This? Not so much, the timing sucks.

It’s a shame too, because Colorado is fucking beautiful. I used to visit here frequently because my Dad lived in Denver/Aurora for a number of years ….. so many fascinating things to see and do. Sadly I won’t get to see/do any of them, but at least I can stare at the mountains off in the distance. For now, from this super comfy hotel room… I bid you:

adieu

 

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9 thoughts on “Hey there Colorado…

  1. Pingback: Hey there Florida… | Write in the Wrong Way

  2. I have an uncle with a host of mental issues that began in his early 20’s, which I’ll just say make him a potential physical threat to everyone around him, and certainly an emotional and financial drain. His parents (my grandparents) have been trying for the last 30+ years to get him the kind of help he needs, and they keep running into the same thing that you did with your brother — as an adult, he has to WANT to stay. Because people with very fragile mental states (regardless of which chemicals have brought them on) always think clearly, right?

    Not to say that I think we should revert to the cuckoo’s-nest era way, where mental health care facilities were like a combination between lab and prison, but our present system is definitely majorly flawed! To my knowledge, they finally found a good solution by placing him in what is basically a retirement home type of set-up, for mental-health patients. So he can come and go as he pleases (therefore he is not there against his will), but his home is in a place prepared to help him as and when needed.

    Obviously, having a mental illness is NOT the same as having an addiction, but the outcome to your brain (at least temporarily) is pretty similar. I wonder if there are any places out there like the one my uncle is at, but for people with addiction problems?

    • I’m really grateful that you posted this, because we strongly believe that he does have an underlying mental illness. He’s on zoloft right now which is freaking my nurse-aunt out because she thinks he has at least a minor case of bi-polar in which case the zoloft could cause a major negative reaction. Not helping the situation is that where he is right now, there is not one centralized person in charge of his treatment. My mom THOUGHT he had one, a social worker, but when they went for a family meeting on Friday it was someone completely different who “barely had time to read his file” before the meeting. The meeting in which they discussed ongoing/after care treatment options and tried to create a plan.

      Complicating things are his girlfriend who seems to be going more nutso the longer he is away. We are convinced that she’s also on something and that my brother was probably her “connection” and now she is having some kind of withdrawl. She spoke very nasty to my mom and aunt on a recent visit to see him. So we have her to contend with as a negative force when he “gets out” – which makes this all the more scary.

      I appreciate your insight… and will continue to update, mostly for the sake of my sanity. There aren’t many places I can discuss this for obvious reasons, so it’s really nice to use the blog as an outlet.

      • Sometimes addictions can cause longer-lasting mental issues, and sometimes underlying mental issues can cause addictions. I hope you guys can find someone to give him the holistic kind of care he needs!!

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