Sunday, May 19th. I’m not sure if I should say it’s 11:45pm or 9:45pm. This difference in time, although minute in the big picture, has really thrown me for a loop. Especially because I had a layover in Dallas, TX between DC & CO – so I’ve hung out in 3 time zones today. It’s strange to turn my phone on after a flight lands and watch the time literally change an hour back. I’ve convinced my daughter that I’m an official time traveler – which has bought me major cool points :)
In other news, I just had an hour-long conversation with my Mom about my brother. I don’t really have the energy to get into details, but basically the place where he’s been doesn’t consider him in need of in-patient treatment, and he will most likely be sent home for my mom to deal with instead. The more time that passes, the more he downplays the severity, and the more stressed my mom is. Turns out he stole more from my grandmother than we knew and she only disclosed that info to my Mom today because she didn’t want to upset her more.
Not the tear-jerker kind of heart breaking, like I posted last week. At this point we are emotionally exhausted. Exasperated. Feeling helpless and powerless because after all… my 25-year-old brother is an adult [on paper]. Ultimately this is all up to him, which means nothing for change and improvement to his situation. I can’t decide if I want to be pissed off or distraught.. either way I’m not happy. And more strikingly – I have no solutions to offer. That’s usually my thing… analyze a situation, offer help and advice. Not this time, and not even close. I don’t know what to do, to tell my Mom to do…. I need to do some more research on this beast that addiction is. And I need to find a way to make myself part of the solution instead of just a bystander which is how I feel right now.
I’m in CO for work but not really having to do work, which is nice. I get to do a 2-day dental school crash course, which should be pretty interesting and dare I say it – Fun? :) I’m looking forward to it, but not feeling good about being away right now. Between the shit with my brother and the fast-approaching wedding… it just feels wrong to be 2 time zones and many hours of traveling away from home. I was in Chicago for a few days in February and really enjoyed that. This? Not so much, the timing sucks.
It’s a shame too, because Colorado is fucking beautiful. I used to visit here frequently because my Dad lived in Denver/Aurora for a number of years ….. so many fascinating things to see and do. Sadly I won’t get to see/do any of them, but at least I can stare at the mountains off in the distance. For now, from this super comfy hotel room… I bid you: