Things I Can’t Make Up (and that piss me off)

Two weeks ago at soccer practice:

Random Mom: Oh hi, how are you?

Me: Good.

Random Mom: What’s your daughter’s name?

Me: “Little J”

OTHER Nearby Random Mom: Oh my God, I thought you were a kid!! You have a daughter on this team? I really thought you were just someone’s teenage sister or something!!

Me: ….. Uhhh, well… no, I’m a Mom.

Today, at the bank while depositing checks that came as wedding gifts:

Teller: Are you getting married?!

Me: Yup.

Teller: How exciting! When? Where’s the honeymoon?

Me: End of this month, don’t have one booked yet. Money is tight so we’re waiting until it’s closer to see what kind of last-minute Living Social type of deals we can find. I figure a week off from work and having my daughter stay with my mom for a week is a great honeymoon in and of itself!

Teller: You have a kid? How old?

Me: 8.

Teller: What?! Really??? You don’t look old enough to have an 8-year-old!!

Me: I get that a lot (apparently).


General note for the human race: In order to keep from offending people who have not asked for your absolutely clueless comments – Keep your stupid fucking mouth shut!


I guess by now, I should be used to shit like this. I’m 4’9″ and look very young for my age. I’m also very young (27). I also don’t wear makeup or jewelry or do anything nice with my hair. I get it, I look less sophisticated than 70% of high school chicks. HOWEVER, I am sick and fucking tired of hearing comments like those named above. They are 2 examples out of MANY that I hear all the time. EVERYWHERE! I want to wear a sign that says:

“Yes I’m short. Yes I’m young. Yes I have an 8-year-old kid. Get the fuck over it.”

Can someone have that made for me? Please?


Related Posts:

Fuck you Northern Virginia
Short People Problems


3 thoughts on “Things I Can’t Make Up (and that piss me off)

  1. Pingback: Ummm, excuse me?! | Write in the Wrong Way

  2. I wish I could have been there so I could have laughed when those women said it. Does your fiance give you piggy backs or shoulder rides ever? By the way, you are sounding bitter. Congrats on that!

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