Death by Peanut Butter

Yesterday my daughter came home from summer camp with a big note that said:

——- —— Elementary School is a NUT FREE ZONE due to a DEATHLY peanut allergy!

I don’t know why, but this pisses me off beyond belief. Here are some reasons I can come up with:

  1. The parent did not notify the camp ahead of camp starting, apparently MOST of the kids AND a counselor brought a PB&J sandwich yesterday.
  3. The parent is probably one of those extremely fucking annoying helicopter parents that wiped their kid’s ass until they were 10 years old and says that their mild hive-causing peanut allergy will KILL them just to make sure that everyone on this school’s property is alert, aware, and inconvenienced. Just speculation here.
  4. Why the fuck can’t this kid eat lunch in a room AWAY from peanuts?
  5. Or, why can’t the kids that brought peanut products eat lunch in a room AWAY from the child that is “deathly allergic” to peanuts?
  6. Your kid’s allergy is not my fucking problem!
  7. What the fuck am I gonna feed my kid that ONLY EATS PB&J SANDWICHES FOR LUNCH AT SCHOOL AND CAMP?!
  8. Where the fuck is my $20 allowance to go buy her different types of lunch meat and lunchables and other super expensive lunch foods that don’t require heating and I don’t ever keep in my kitchen?

It’s not that I’m completely insensitive, self-centered and straight up rude.


Well… it’s mostly that.



But it’s also the plain and simple fact that this person’s kid has an allergy that obviously requires meticulous maintenance and diligence and this person needs to stop expecting the whole fucking world to ACCOMMODATE this child! It is not fucking Autism or Downs Syndrome, it’s a food allergy for shit sake! It affects ONE part of the day! For 30 fucking minutes! But to make this stupid ass parent happy, 40 other sets of parents have to go out of their way instead.


Stupid fucking food allergies.


Rant over.


Amanda is back in the house y’all!


8 thoughts on “Death by Peanut Butter

  1. Pingback: No Filter | Write in the Wrong Way

  2. I can remember being in school and kids having allergies, but I don’t ever remember parents going postal on others because their kid had an allergie.

    • I honestly can’t remember kids with food allergies from when I was in school. Nor have I ever worked with an adult that has one that affects other people… I feel like it’s that parent/child’s responsibility to control the kid’s exposure, not everyone else’s!

  3. You know what they say, one rotten apple ruins the bunch. ;) Ha ha. But I totally get what you’re saying. Another thing, since when did peanuts become such a bad thing??? When I was a kid I only knew of one kid who couldn’t eat peanuts, but then he was allergic to a shit ton of other things, too. He was kind of an oddball. Now-a-days I see “peanut free zone” signs EVERYWHERE a kid might be present! It’s weird.

    • I will preface my comment with: I am not a nutritionist, doctor, allergist, etc.

      With that being said, I am pretty sure that at least half of the food “allergies” are either a) not real, b) caused by some other thing, c) caused by the nasty shit that manufacturers are putting in our food these days, d) not as serious as people want to make them out to be e) annoying.

    • Were you not allowed to send PB lunches for your kids during the school year?? That would cause me to start a riot. They’re lucky it’s only for this week. Although the attitude the director had when I walked in 5 minutes early and she told me to wait in the hall might make me just punch in her in the face period.

      • Stupid camp director. My wife has a so-called “friend” that has a kid with that peanut allergy thing and she is the one that caused the whole thing. She wanted the whole school to shut down because she couldn’t figure out how to get her idiot of a kid to stay away from it.

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