Why am I up at 1:42am?
My pregnant best friend called me at midnight to say she was on her way to the hospital because she was having contractions 4 minutes apart. She’s due on November 20, you do the math there. The reason that I’m still up is because I have the super special important intimate job of being on hand in the room when she delivers this baby. She really wanted me to be there for her moral support, for her oldest son as back up in case he freaks (he requested to be in the delivery room), and so that I could experience a “real” child-birth.
I say “real” because I had my daughter via C-section, and should I ever have another kid it will most likely be born the same way. I’m 4’9″, I have no hips, my first kid was 8lb 13oz. I have no idea what it’s like (and have not indulged my curiosity with videos) for a baby to come out of a hooha.
So it’s a big job, being on labor standby… except it’s only fucking August. So here I am, best friend of the year, prepared to hop in my car in the middle of the night and drive 2 hours to DE should shit start hitting the fan. That’s love. And you know… I’m worried about her. The latest update at 1:49am is that they are probably braxton hicks contractions and she’s waiting for the Dr. to do one last check before she goes home.. bullet dodged, this time.
Why are grocery stores forcing customers to use the self checkout lanes?
I went grocery shopping on Saturday, which is already one of my least favorite chores. In an effort to make our money stretch as far as possible, I went to 2 different grocery stores. Yes, that happened. I sat down for an hour reading through circulars and clipping coupons to find the absolute cheapest prices for the things on our very long list. At the second store I wasn’t purchasing as much, and had like half the cart full.
We get up to the checkout lanes, and there is 1 lane open. As in o-n-e checkout lane with a human being working it. On a Saturday at 3pm. What the fuck is that all about????? There were about 6 self checkouts and the kicker… no baggers! At my other grocery store, they at least have 1 person that monitors the self checkouts to help the idiots who can’t follow the simple instructions on the screen, to ID people buying alcohol, and to bag large orders to keep the lanes moving. Not Shoppers though… Shoppers hates people apparently. I spent longer in line than I did shopping…. which made me want to go bat shit crazy and start throwing melons at people’s heads.
I didn’t, BTW. Just muttered hateful shit loudly under my breath.
Is Megalodon out there?
I’m watching Shark Week to keep me awake until my friend is home from the hospital safe and sound…. and this Megalodon episode is fucking awesome! I’m fascinated, hooked (see what I did there?)… and embarrassed to say that I will be tuning in for the rest of shark week. I really try to stay away from fads, pop culture movements, basically anything that people will #hashtag about. Because I think that’s fucking stupid and I hate the whole sheep mentality thing. “OMG this show is like SUPER ADVERTISED and they turned it into like a THING so I wanna be part of it!! #sharkweek, #megalodon, #shootmeinmyfaceifieverdothisforreal.”
Why is my daughter’s biological dad such a douche?
This, friends, is the million dollar question. I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about him on this blog, and I’m too tired for a back story. The short and sweet of it is that we reconnected via Facebook messages/email/text messages back in December. Hadn’t had any kind of communication with him for many years before that. Last time he saw my daughter she was 2. Lots of back story… another time.
So we started talking about a lunch date for her to “meet” him, and I kept putting it off and saying after the wedding would be better. So now the wedding is over and to be honest, I totally forgot about him. He sent me a text on Friday that said “So that’s that?” Like, how the fuck do I respond to that? So, feeling a little guilty I thought… “alright, I guess I can’t put it off any longer, I’ll set something up”.
I told Little J he text me and that I was going to set something up with him and she said that she was worried it would be awkward (Note, we have already discussed this proposition at length and she was previously on board) Then she asked if they could video chat first, thinking that would be less awkward. I thought it was a brilliant idea, so I asked B if he would be down with that. He said, in as few words as possible, that he would do it and needs to buy a webcam first. We agreed it would be sometime this weekend. I signed up for Skype, told Little J the plan.
Last night she went a friend’s for a sleepover, so to be polite I sent B a text yesterday morning letting him know when she wouldn’t be home. He thanked me for the update, haven’t heard from him since. Thankfully Little J did not ask me about when it would happen, because if I had to tell her that he never got back to me, I would die. I always knew that it would be like this, which is why I never bothered to support her having a relationship with him. What’s the fucking point if he’s only going to act like he cares sometimes?
If he didn’t plan on buying the webcam or actually following through with our plan, why agree to it? I’m documenting this so that (god for fucking bid) if I ever have to go toe to toe with him on visitation, I will be armed and ready. NOBODY fucking hurts my little girl’s feelings.
And with that, I bid you goodnight.