I crack myself up sometimes. It’s ridiculous how much of a bitch I can be without even realizing that I’m doing it! I suppose this probably shouldn’t be funny, but it’s me so fuck you and whatever.
This morning I walked into Little J’s summer camp and asked the director if the child with the nut allergy was there this week. She had packed herself a baggie of mixed nuts for a morning snack and it didn’t hit me that it was a “NUT FREE ZONE” until we were already on our way there. For more on my feelings regarding this stupid ass rule, click here. The director informed me that actually, the kid with the nut allergy isn’t in their camp at all. The kid is in a different camp that is held in a different part of the school.
I was about to get really sassy with her about how fucking stupid it was for them to be so super cautious if the kid wasn’t even coming into the room where they have lunch.. but I didn’t get the chance. The mom waiting in line behind me to sign in spoke up and said (in a very proud voice): “I haven’t sent in anything that has nuts in it. Not even things that have just small traces, like some types of potato chips.”
Pretty sure my jaw actually fell to the floor. Well… it might have just slightly dropped. I was dumbfounded to hear her praise herself for the meticulous care she took to accommodate this stupid kid. I didn’t have any of my coffee yet either, which meant there was no stopping whatever nastiness was about to come out of my mouth.
I turned around to face her, put on my best ‘you’re a fucking idiot’ face and said: “Really? Don’t you think that’s a little ridiculous?”
She looked really surprised that I said that. So surprised that she didn’t know what to say haha. She started mumbling “Well…. I heard…” while I promptly turned back around to the director, thanked her for explaining the situation, and walked right out the fucking door.
I see this mom all the time too, and have always thought she was ridiculous. Now she knows how I really feel and I can stop giving her fake smiles when we cross paths 2353465 times during the school year.