11 thoughts on “Self-inflicted wounds

  1. Ugh — BEEN. THERE. There was a period of about 3 months of our married life where my husband was Budget Master, and it took me about 6 months to clean up the ensuing mess. The “system” is definitely designed — whether intentionally or not — to seek out the people who have tripped and kick them til they’re bleeding (then refuse any health care).

    I’ve been burned enough times now that I: 1) NEVER let anything get automatically debited for my account, unless it’s like $10 or less, 2) NEVER sign up for any bank thing that allows unavailable money to come out of my account, 3) Avoid contracts for things like phones and such (I let myself get talked into a Cable contract when we moved recently and I HATE IT aaaaaagh *regret*)

    Anyway, not that any of this helps you out now, but recovery IS possible, just takes a lot of crying hysterically at moneylords (oh yes, I am not above that), and time. Ugh. Feel for you!

    • I like your analogy. We’re somewhere between the end of kicking and bleeding to death right now. When you start adding a gazillion fees to payments and then multiply that by however many bills, it makes me want to throw up. Paying this extra money sets another bill back.. it’s a huge domino. No more auto pay, and J isn’t allowed to touch ANYTHING. I’m literally going to be telling him how much to make the check out for every month (from his personal to our joint), then send him on his damn way.

  2. I can’t help but think that unless one (or both) of you is making good money, it will always be an issue. I grew up watching my parents argue over money all the time. It’s made me hate dealing with money in general. But I understand where you’re coming from regarding the living paycheck to paycheck thing. I am doing the same and it f*cking sucks. Some times I wish I could win the lottery. Not because I want to swim in millions and buy things I don’t need. But because it would mean I could pay off my school loan and be debt-free. More than anything I wish I could be debt-free. Oh, yeah, and I would pay off my mother’s mortgage so that she could be debt-free, too.

    • Holy crap don’t even get me started on school loans. Oh wait.. here I go! I have been trying to lower our monthly bills (currently we’re in our first week of NO CABLE TV – post to come on that when I see if the Js are still alive through the weekend)… and I called up ONE of my student loan places and asked about forbearance.. was told I’d have to pay a $150 fee (for the 3 separate loans they service) and that it only lasts for 3 months so I’d have to call up and pay the fee again to extended. How the hell does that do me any good?!?!

  3. i have literally nothing constructive to say here, except that we are all married to idiots sometimes (including my spouse…ugh…)- but i love your blog, i love your writing, and sometimes when i’m having a really sucky time, i love that some random person will write a nice comment on my blog and make me feel like someone out there is in my corner. so, here’s hoping there’s a boatload of good karma headed your way soon…

    • I definitely appreciate your comment, and could use all the good karma I can get right now! It’s safe to say that I have taken over 100% of the household financial/logistical management at this point because my husband just can’t get it together. He’s back into coaching football now too, which means that apparently nothing else matters. Sigh…

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