You’re a bunch of water snobs.

This draft was started on 10/24/13. As per my own rules (which can be found here) I’m publishing this post as is. I’m not sorry for any ridiculous errors. This is the rules folks.

Building maintenance was in my office this morning to look at our water. To smell it, and taste it. It was pretty fucking ridiculous. Apparently, a couple of the people I work with (2 people, literally) think the water tastes “musky”.  It’s tap water, for starters, which I think tastes disgusting no matter what sink it’s coming out of. Only filtered or bottled for me, thank you very much.

The building manager suggested the offended parties switch to filtered, at which point I became extremely embarrassed. My office manager’s reply was, and I quote,

We don’t drink filtered water. We work for the dental industry and only drink tap water because it has fluoride in it. We all drink tap water at home and it tastes just fine but this water tastes funny. We would like to drink tap water at work to support the industry, but it tastes so bad that it’s difficult for us to do that here. If you don’t find a solution, we will have the city of Arlington to come in and test your water.

Um, bitch please. First of all, when did she start speaking for all of us?! I don’t drink disgusting ass tap water because it’s GROSS! Even if I am so parched that the Sahara desert is starting a new colony in my throat I still won’t drink tap water! Never! Because it’s DISGUSTING! Fluoride is so readily available in toothpaste, mouthwash and floss that I don’t really feel a need to abuse my taste buds drinking fluoridated (and clean by who knows what?) water. No, thank you. That water comes from where fish shit and make babies. I’ll pass.

And all this hype about “supporting the dental industry” …. can we be really serious for a minute? Her, me, or the 8 other people that work in our office, are not going to make or break the multi-billion dollar dental manufacturing and distributing industry by not drinking water. I wish she would get the fuck over herself.

Oh, and I think it’s pretty selfish to make other people’s lives miserable as a result of this nonsense. The building manager and maintenance dudes have MUCH better things to do than stand around in our kitchen listening to her whine about the water.


6 thoughts on “You’re a bunch of water snobs.

  1. I’ve somehow missed out on like your last 3 weeks’ worth of posts (yeah, if you’re wondering who’s just bumped your stats up, it’s me!), but I just had to comment on this one… OMG your life ranges from tragic to hilarious, and this one is making my hilarious-meter break!! I am imagining some veteran-style salute to a Tooth Flag as your manager drinks her tap water…. the mental image is stunning!!

    Also, I second gardenrenegade’s admiration for doing the unedited posts. I assure you, if I did such a thing I would end up taking my readers on a dizzying logic train that started with something like “my kid is funny” and ended with something like, “and that’s why I hate Arkansas”.

    • Hahaha. Yeah, she’s a little loopy. She also puts boxes of baking soda in our fridge because she thinks the ice tastes funny too. The only other crazy person in the office RINSES the ice he gets out of the fridge. It’s hard not to go white girl crazy on them.

      Thank you for the kind words :) I kept feeling like I couldn’t produce anything new because I had these unfinished posts sitting around… one more to push out later today and I think I’ll feel a lot better about writing!

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