Why can’t I hear anything?

1994.

I’m 9 years old. My mommy and daddy got divorced last year. I don’t really understand what “divorced” means but the counselor at my school has tried really hard to explain it to me and my brother, and other kids whose parents don’t like each other anymore. I don’t know if my parents ever really liked each other anyway.

We spent the night at my daddy’s apartment. He lives with a strange man I don’t really know too well. I didn’t see him much while we were there. We did play with his dog though. She has one blue eye and one green eye, she’s really pretty and her name is Missy.

My daddy just brought me and my brother back to our house. It was raining when he picked us up yesterday but it’s not today so he carried our rain coats for us. My mommy was mad when we came in. I don’t know why she’s so mad! She’s screaming at my daddy and he’s screaming back at her but I can’t really hear anything.

I feel scared. The screaming scares my brother too, it always has. We are hiding under the kitchen table so they don’t see us and start yelling at us too.

Our rain coats just fell on the floor nearby… I guess my daddy must have thrown them. Why would he throw our coats?

I don’t really understand why they scream at each other. I can’t hear anything. I can only see how mad they are… how very, very mad they are. And I think that they hate each other. Why would they scream this way if they didn’t?

Grown ups tell me that it’s not me and my brother’s fault that my parents don’t live together anymore. They say that sometimes it happens and people have problems that they can’t work out. I don’t know if my parents ever tried to work out their problems. I can’t really hear anything.

I just see very mad faces. Very red faces. I see tears falling down my mommy’s cheeks. I don’t know why she’s crying cause I can’t hear what they are fighting about.

I see their mouths moving fast. They are pointing at each other and waving their arms all around. Me and my brother’s coats are still on the floor near the table we are hiding under. I think my brother is crying but I don’t really care… I’m trying to hear what my parents are saying.

My daddy is leaving. It looked like he slammed the door but I couldn’t hear the bang.

Why can’t I hear anything?

I feel like I should be able to hear these things. But I can’t.

I can’t hear anything but the sound of my heart breaking. That is very, very loud.

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One thought on “Why can’t I hear anything?

  1. Pingback: I can’t do it yet. | Write in the Wrong Way

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