Tagged with addiction

For old times sake.

My little brother, N, used to make beautiful music. There was one year of his life in particular when he was reeling with heartbreak from a relationship ending that he put out song after amazing song to ease his pain. Those were the days before heroin was used to ease pain instead. I found a … Continue reading

That awkward moment when..

Your best friend calls to ask if it’s safe for her son to spend the night with your brother (I know, it’s weird, they’re the same age). She asked if it’s safe. Read: is my heroin addict brother there. Is my enabling, in denial, mentally unwell mother going to be caring for them. Will there … Continue reading

Can’t take my mind off of you.

Can’t take my mind off of you.

N, I miss you. I miss my little brother… As far as I’m concerned, he died a few months ago. He was almost back… so close. I will never take those moments for granted, when I almost saw you again. He’s nowhere to be found, now. Just a ghost remains, an empty shell. A manipulative … Continue reading

I can’t do it yet.

I’m trying to write about my father. I’m trying to write about a potential major mistake that I made. I just published a post that was supposed to cover those topics, but it didn’t. Instead, it was a flashback to 1994. Why? I opened the blank post… saw the cursor blinking… started formulating the title … Continue reading

What fresh hell is this?!

What fresh hell is this?!

People! I’ve been meaning to tell you the rest of my story about last weekend and haven’t been able to put fingers to keys. Too tired, too busy and frankly… too apathetic. It almost feels stupid to write because it’s like a broken fucking record. Aren’t you tired of hearing about my jacked up family?! … Continue reading

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.

Oh boy. Where do I start? It’s been a crazy week around these parts. I last wrote about my brother being encouraged about a long-term treatment center in Florida. That fell through. There is this whole issue of health insurance and his 26th birthday on March 7. There are no rich relatives waiting in the … Continue reading