Swallowing Tears

I saw my brother last night. He’s the most fucked up I’ve ever seen him. Homeless, getting arrested frequently for shoplifting (and released, I might add, due to a very broken system), skinnier than I’ve ever seen him. Walking around in someone else’s clothes and shoes from the jail. Being minimally sustained by my mother.. … Continue reading →

I’m sick of being the do-er of all the shit.

The one who does the laundry. And the dishes. And the picking up and cleaning. And making the lunches. And the dinners. And the meal plan and the grocery list. And buying the food. And paying the bills. And fixing the broken things. And feeding the pets. And helping the kid homework. And the comforting … Continue reading →

Sometimes good things happen too!

I don’t know if I ever wrote about my move on the blog… It happened at the end of July. We are renting a townhouse with 3 bedrooms and lots of awesome perks for $300 less monthly rent than our 2 bedroom apartment was. Zip codes, people. In Northern Virginia, you pay for the zip … Continue reading →

When I should be doing other things, I do this instead.

I was not at work on Monday. I left work at 11:30am yesterday. Today I am here but really expecting to get another call from the clinic at Little J’s school again before the day is out. So I should really be working my ass off to catch up and do as much as I … Continue reading →

Wait for the good days.

I can’t completely let him go. I can’t do it. Cause who knows how long he’ll be in my life? Continue reading →

A Poem About Heroin

Another deep one.

Tonight

Deep.

For old times sake.

My little brother, N, used to make beautiful music. There was one year of his life in particular when he was reeling with heartbreak from a relationship ending that he put out song after amazing song to ease his pain. Those were the days before heroin was used to ease pain instead. I found a … Continue reading →